Dreamers Into Doers -- marthastewart.com

What (Tries) to Hinder You?

I warn you, I am about to get very real here. Not gross real, just real real.

As my business begins to really grow, I have a little something that tries to hinder me. It tries to steal my comfort, my energy, my drive, my peace, my joy. It makes me want to curl up in a little ball and bawl.

I can't let it, obviously. I have three little ones who need me to be a good mommy. I have a husband who needs me to be his partner in all things. I have a house that needs...well, some serious help. I have customers who need cute shoes. And I have an innate need in myself to create with my hands.

Nevertheless, it is relentless in its pursuit of me. Its name is pain. I have struggled for years with FMS. It's not as severe as it is for some people I know, and for that I am thankful. And I did have some years of reprieve for which I am incredibly grateful. It all but went away after my first child, did not return after my second. But after my third, it decided the time had come. Periodically, pain will steal over my whole body and remain for the day.

So here I am. Fighting to bring life to my dreams. Working to prove to my children that it is never too late to do what you love. Trying to be all that I must to the people I who are my life. And I will not let the reason stealing comfort thief known as pain be anything more than an inconvenience.

How about you? Is there anything in your life that would try to keep you from realizing your dreams?

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Comment by Susan Vermillion Woods on July 5, 2011 at 4:57pm: Oh Marcie, I can't imagine having FMS and arthritis and back pain. One would be enough. Prayer is definitely the best defense. Congratulations on the wedding and kudos to you for pushing through and chasing your dream in spite of it all! That is awesome! I am so inspired by the strength of the women on this site.

Comment by marcie lenick on July 5, 2011 at 4:06pm: Oh thank you so much for sharing this! I also have this and psoariatic arthiritis (like rhuematoid) AND back issues. BUT I just did my 1st almost 300 person wedding this weekend!!!! At the YOUNG age of 46 yrs old. I am fufilling the whole scope of life long pieces of my dream, being an Event Designer. Sometimes it is so beyond difficult to dig THAT deep and I cry because I think "who am I kidding, I can't do this!" But somehow by working along how I am feeling that day & LOTS of people praying for me, I have a thriving business! It is actually good because it helps distract me from the pain & keeps me from being sucked into a black h***. So THANK YOU!!!!!! Feels good to not feel 'alone" <3

Comment by EdenSong Essentials on July 5, 2011 at 1:34pm: Thanks, Susan. I don't usually talk about that stuff out in the "open".

I, too, am so happy to be getting to know you -- and I feel the same about all the other TAG members! What an amazing group!!

Comment by Susan Vermillion Woods on July 5, 2011 at 1:01pm: Thank you, Stephanie. I hear you on the guilt thing and I am so sorry about the divorce. That does not sound pleasant and definitely scary. And watching your parents age and need your help more and more is tiring and emotional too. It's a wonder you have the time and energy at all to still run a business. You must be a very strong woman! I'm ever so glad I have had the chance to get to "know" you.

Comment by EdenSong Essentials on July 5, 2011 at 12:49pm: I have several friends suffering from FM and can only imagine what you go through.

The thing that tries to keep me from realizing my dreams is more family related. My parents are elderly, so they need my assistance. Thankfully, they still maintain their own home, but they do require my help . . . a LOT. Don't get me wrong -- I am grateful my parents are still living and with me, but it does make it hard juggling my time to achieve my dreams. I have also been going through a grueling divorce (think "War of Roses") for over 4 years now and because of the financial drain, I must now represent myself at the Court of Appeals level. Talk about scary! It also occupies my time a lot with either thinking about the process or obsessing a bit over what's next, if I'm doing it right, etc.

Taking time to work on my dreams sometimes makes me feel guilty -- like I'm "suppose" to be doing something for my parents or I'm "suppose" to be working on paperwork for the divorce. **sigh**

I'd rather be formulating! lol

Comment by Susan Vermillion Woods on July 3, 2011 at 2:55pm: Oh Kimberly, I'm so glad you are currently pain free. I know what you mean about the fear. The girls are a good distraction though aren't they. I know my kids are the biggest reason why I lead a normal life through the pain. I don't want them to remember Mommy just sad and never willing to do anything with them because she hurt too much. I thank heaven that it isn't every day and that there is ibuprofen to help when it gets really bad. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to know I am not the only one. Good luck!

Comment by Susan Vermillion Woods on June 30, 2011 at 2:00pm: Ke'lona, thank you for sharing. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like.

Comment by Ke'lona Hamilton on June 30, 2011 at 9:51am: Bipolar disorder. Oh its so wretched. It fills me with manic inspiration to the extent that I am certain my ideas are brilliant, I can work for days with little or no sleep, Im filled with hope and aspiration... and then I fall into a deep depression, a sense of hopelessness, certainty that my business will fail, my life is miserable, I am completely unfulfilled. My family needs me, have 7 kids and one is only 3 months old. My husband needs me. My business needs me. I need me. And I feel like I need the disorder for inspiration, but its a cruel unrelenting double-edged sword. The pain is psychological, sometimes physical. It hurts, it hinders, its a love hate relationship. All I want is a steady sense of satisfaction and Bipolar Disorder steals it from me constantly. :/

Thanks for sharing. It helps.